These past few weeks have been noisy, busy, and emotionally draining, despite the fact that things have been completely silent here in this space. I snapped these images several weeks ago, when it was still mostly winter and when the daffodils were barely poking out of the soil and when I was still mostly sad and depressed. But now things are mostly spring and the daffodils are in full bloom and I am happy to say I am getting more and more comfortable with our life here.
It doesn't hurt that I've started studying for the MCAT, which gives me a sense of purpose that I actually value. It also doesn't hurt that we've had such nice warm weather recently that I actually am relatively tan from working out in the garden. The weather reminds me of summer in the bay area, actually, and while it does make me a little nervous for the kind of heat I'm in for come June and July, I'm soaking it all in and enjoying the beautiful days. It also really, REALLY doesn't hurt that my husband is mostly home and we get to do all the things we've wanted to do for years now. Like eat breakfast outside together, work in the garden together, cook dinner together, drink wine together (he likes wine now), drink coffee together, and just everything together. It's amazing. And good for the soul. I have missed him desperately these past few years.
In recent, exciting news, we got some beautiful bedroom furniture custom built for our awkwardly shaped bedroom. The furniture makes such good use of the space and provide a lot of storage for us — our house literally has no closets. Not one. Zero storage. So I'm much happier. And I have a vase full of daffodils from the garden next to my bed that smell so sweet and are helping me sleep a little bit better. We also got our hands on a brand new, shiny, beautiful coffee maker that grinds the beans and that we program for early in the morning. Waking up to that amazing smell never gets old. It's seriously one of the biggest joys in my life. Is that sad?
We've stopped heating our house with the wood heater because we just don't need it anymore, except for on weirdly cold nights. That takes a big chunk out of my daily chores — which now mostly consist of checking the garden every morning and night for signs of new growth (radishes, peas, onions, chard, kale, lettuce, strawberries, garlic, arugula and potatoes are growing) as well as transplanting my baby vegetable plants into bigger pots and telling them to just keep growing. If I'm honest, I can't wait for summer and all the heat and deliciousness it's going to bring.
So yeah, life is getting a little more normal here. We're almost at month three of this new life and like you all told me, this is the time things would start to feel a little bit better. Indeed it does. At the end of the day, only I can control how I process everything and what I choose to get out of this very unique and special life experience. I'm working on a lot of stuff, personally, to stop my ego from always getting in the way and screwing things up. It has a nasty habit of doing that, but I'm having more and more moments where I can honestly say I see the light.
And then there's these two...