Things feel pretty ok right now. I've got my two handsome boys lightly snoring in bed with me — Odin is dreaming, I can hear his little barks, and Damir is passed out. He's completely exhausted from a very demanding 2 and a half months of training, racing, and trying to find us a place to live in Slovenia. I barely got to talk to him today before he fell asleep on the couch, but that's ok. He's been my hero lately. My sister comes home Sunday for the holidays, I got an A+ in my last pre-med class ever (yeah!), and last night I got to watch (and photograph!) a dear friend of mine welcome her sweet, perfect baby girl into this world — and there is NOTHING in the world I find more beautiful and inspiring and utterly fascinating than the birthing of babies. ;)
So yeah, right now in this moment, things are nice. But we are moving in exactly one month. Yep, our flights are booked. It doesn't seem like nearly enough time for me to do everything I need to do, so my stress and anxiety levels are high and getting higher. To be honest, I've been sort of putting off seriously packing and preparing because I don't want to think about it. I pretty much focus all of my time on researching how to make flights easier on dogs and trying to work on Odin's reactivity with other dogs (getting better and better!). I only hope something shifts in me soon so that I'm not completely panicked in a few weeks.
I know I've mentioned it before, but to say I'm nervous about this move would be an understatement. I'm so truly afraid to leave my family for the first time ever — and I know I sound like a big 27-year-old baby but I really don't care. And then there are the moments where I picture us living over there, enjoying our time actually being together, free of so many of the worries we've grown used to here, taking Odin on adventures all over that beautiful part of the world, maybe even welcoming a baby of our own into the world, if we're lucky. I can't wait for all that. So I go from excitement to panic in a matter of moments and let me tell you, the emotional swinging is not so fun (I get that roller coaster upside-down feeling in my stomach, you know?).
I was feeling kind of sad because I doubt there will be any cute holiday posts on the blog this year. I'm not really into it. I moved furniture around for a small tree, but I'm sort of thinking of skipping decorating this year. With all the stuff going on, it just doesn't feel... right? Or necessary? I sound like a big bummer, haha. I guess I kind of am, hence the half smiles in the photo above — it seemed an appropriate picture for this post. But who knows? Now that Damir is back (for a couple of weeks), maybe my mood will shift.
He's so darn cute, you guys, it's hard not to be bubbly and cheerful around him. I'd forgotten that these past two months...